This website is probably the most sparse it can possibly be, and that's because I don't know how to write html. That's not to say I haven't tried it. I repeat a pattern when it comes to learning things: I set out to learn, for example, a new language, some computer science stuff or how to make art or music, or to learn more about anti-racism. I start with a lot of enthusiasm, being very sure that I want to do this and that I can do it. I spend lots of time doing some things that are, I tell myself, necessary for learning, like looking up resources on the internet or borrowing books from the library. I try to learn whatever my goal is this time and after a few minutes or hours, I run into some kind of issue that blocks me from proceeding. Lacking the proper term for what is going on, I call this motivation issues. Sometimes I think that my disabilities (neurodivergence, chronic depression) prevent me from doing things that I seem to be so sure I want. Immediately, I proof to myself that this is bullshit, because there are lots of disabled and neurodivergent people on the internet who have all these awesome skills: visual artists, musicians, programmers, scholars, educators - and many have multiple of these skills, which is so far beyond what I think my capabilities are that they might as well live on another planet. I know, I know, I shouldn't put people on a pedestals and such, but the fact remains that they somehow managed to aquire all these amazing skills, and I don't have any.